I wonder.
Is it sad when one feels compelled to record the another's last days?
Or when one is doing the recording itself?
I'm beginning to think it isn't.

Just the other day, when I was watching The LOTR Trilogy (I know, AGAIN.) and it came to the scene between Eowen and King Theoden of Rohan (where the latter dies) when I came to an epiphany.

My body is broken, you have to let me go.

I've simply been too selfish in my approach to death. I've been afraid to lose Gran because then might forget everything that Gran stands for that I hold dear. Everything that I stand for, everything that made who I am, dissipate into the sands of time. I've always been running back to Gran, so much that I think I wouldn't know what to do one day when she isn't here.

I need help.
I need God.